Evaluation 4.2

Thank you for participating in this theological reflection on your marriage. Your marriage is a sacrament in the Church. The Catechism of the Catholic Church says, "Sacraments are "powers that come forth" from the Body of Christ, which is ever-living and life-giving. They are actions of the Holy Spirit at work in his Body, the Church" (1116).

Your sacramental marriage gives you grace (power) to live your married life. Because you sealed your love in a covenant with God, the Holy Spirit (God) is at work in your life and marriage everyday. Make use of this power/grace by calling on God each day in prayer as individuals, couples and as families. Allow Christ to help transform your love for your spouse into a supernatural love.


"The couple needs to remember they have entered a relationship between persons. They come to one another with two loves, the one commanded by Jesus and the one caused by their attraction to each other. They are challenged to unite their personal love with Christ's love. Their human love will survive more effectively the cultural challenges they face, as well as the psychological and economic ones, when it is merged with the powerful love of Christ, who wants them to succeed and whose divine grace is ever at their service." (United States Catholic Catechsim for Adults, 286)

Thank you for participating in this marriage reflection blog! I hope it serves as a blessing to you and your marriages.

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Making Sense of It All 4.1

As you shared your thoughts, feelings, images and reflections on Christian tradition was there a theme or aspect that jumped out at you as being particularly important for you?

Is there a question that emerged that you wish to pursue more?

Do your reflections confirm your beliefs about marriage?

Did they challenge your beliefs in any way?

Do your reflections make you think of a particular new way of acting and/or thinking about your own marriage?

What concrete change or action will you take from these four weeks of reflection (name at least one). In your comments, feel free to share any other insights, thoughts, feelings that you had.

Just as your vows transformed you from two to one, so too did the sacrament transform your individual daily lives to a united "domestic church." Your home life has become a means of grace and holiness for both of you (and any children you may have). Your home becomes a miniature church (domestic church) where all your activities (even the mundane ones of changing the oil in the car, changing a diaper, getting your spouse coffee in the morning, etc.) are opportunities for grace.

How is your home a domestic church?

Please share your reflections with your spouse as well so that you can grow in your marriage with one another.

Your Marriage and God 3.2

Take a moment to quietly say a prayer for your marriage, your spouse and your family….

As you think about your feelings from your wedding day and/or the image that emerged about your marriage, what story, passage, or theme from the Bible, Church history, theology, lives of the saints, etc. come to mind?

Simply write down all the ideas that come to your mind. Brainstorm a list. Don't ponder at length on any of these yet, just write them down.

For example, as you pondered your wedding day it may remind you of Jesus at the Wedding Feast of Cana saving the couple from embarrassment (John 2: 1-11). It may remind you of Jesus saying that in marriage the two become one flesh (Mark 10: 6-9). It could remind you of Jesus and the Church's teaching that marriage is to be permanent (Matthew 19: 3-6 or the Catholic Catechism of the Church 1601). It may remind you of the life of a saint (such as St. Joseph or St. Gianna Molla).

Please write about whatever story, passage, or theme from the Bible, Church history, theology, lives of the saints, etc. that comes to your mind. Share one or as many as you wish in your comments and with your spouse. If none come to mind, share this as well.

Pick one item from the list you brainstormed from Christian tradition. If it is a Scripture passage, read the passage. If a saint, search for the saint on the internet and read about them. Whatever you selected, answer these questions:

What does this piece of Christian tradition say about God's purposes for marriage?

What does this piece of Christian tradition suggest about your part in realizing God's purposes for your marriage? Do not over think over your answers; simply write from your heart.

Your Marriage and God 3.1

"Christ dwells with them (married couples), gives them the strength to take up their crosses and so follow him, to rise again after they have fallen, to forgive one another, to bear one another's burdens, to "be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ," and to love one another with supernatural, tender, and fruitful love."

(Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1642)

We have spent the first two weeks reflecting on your wedding day with the promises and vows you made to each other. Throughout these reflections, I have been asking you to let yourself feel and experience the emotions and feelings that were present then and now.

Let yourself feel those feelings again. Think of (read over again if you like) your promises and vows to one another. Take a moment to pray and use your promises and vows as part of the prayer. . . . Does an image of marriage arise in your mind as you ponder these? Perhaps it will be one of your wedding pictures or a picture of marriage in your mind. You may imagine a man carrying a woman over a threshold or a baby in her mother's arms. It could be an image seemingly unrelated to marriage, simply let the image come to your mind.

What is the image? If no image arises, stay with your feelings and write more details about these.

What does your image (or your feelings about your vows and promises) suggest about God's purpose for your wedding?

What does your image (or feelings) suggest about your view of marriage?

(Some people like to write a dialogue between themselves and their image. How does your image answer the above questions?)

Wedding Promises and Vows 2.2

(If you have not had a chance to complete Wedding Promises and Vows 2.1, please do so now.)

"This one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called 'woman,' for out of 'her man' this one has been taken. That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body."

Genesis 2: 23-24

The wedding promises helped you know what a Catholic marriage is all about. You promised to love one another with a love that was completely free (not forced or coerced), faithful (you would be emotionally and physically faithful to one another), total (you would give yourself without holding anything back from the other person) and fruitful (your love would go beyond just the love between each other and would be open to new life).

After making the promises to one another and to God, you were ready to get married. Since it was your intention to marry the priest then lead you in these (or very similar) vows:

"I, N., take you, N., to be my wife (husband). I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life."

Take a moment to slowly re-read your vows… What do your vows mean to you today?

On your wedding day you were ministers of the sacrament of marriage to each other. The priest or deacon was only the witness on behalf of the Church. It was you who gave consent to marry one another and it was you who said the words of consecration (your vows) to one another. By your consent, you created a new reality; your two individual lives became one flesh in the sacrament. The two of you with God created a covenant of love.

What does it mean for the two of you to become one?

How do you minister the sacrament of marriage to your spouse today in your marriage?

When you have a chance, take a moment to pray with your spouse and then during your prayer, share your wedding vows with one another again. Share with each other how you feel when you say these words to one another.

Wedding Promises and Vows 2.1

On your wedding day you stood before a member of the clergy, your wedding parties, and your friends and family. Before all these people and God you publically answered "yes" to the following questions as part of your marriage vows:

"Have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to
each other in marriage?"

"Will you love and honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your
lives?"

"Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up according to
the law of Christ and his Church?"

What was going on inside of you as you shared these vows? What feelings did you feel? Were you nervous about saying yes to any of the vows and the implications it could have for your life?

How do you live out your marriage vows today in your marriage? (Examples: How do you give yourselves to each other, how are you open to life, how do your live out fidelity to one another, how do you lay down your life for your spouse, how does your marriage covenant include God in your ordinary daily living?)


Do your marriage vows have a deeper meaning to you now; after you have been married (mention how many years you have been married)?

Your Wedding Day 1.2

As you shared your wedding story in writing and with your spouse, what feelings arose within you? Please describe the feelings.

Have you ever reflected on your marriage vows after the wedding?

When you think about marriage, what is it for you?

The Catechism of the Catholic Church in article 1601 says, "The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring; this covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament."

What aspects of marriage in this statement resonate as being true for you? What parts might you disagree with?

Civil society refers to marriage as a contract between two people while the Church refers to marriage as a covenant. A covenant implies so much more than a contract. In a covenant you give your whole self away to another and in turn receive the whole other person. In marriage this is true with your spouse and with God. At the altar we promised to give our whole selves to our spouse (knowing we can not do this on our own) and we gave our whole selves to God asking for his help to love our spouse as God loves us.

(If you have not had a chance to complete the first blog entry 1.1, please do so now.)